The Gentleman's Instant Genius Guide author Tom Cutler tells us his failsafe dos and don'ts for seducing the fairer sex
1. Do pay attention to your body language: this is the most important thing. Look into her eyes and point your body directly at hers. Stand in an exaggeratedly masculine pose, with your glances, voice and dominant bearing exuding sexuality. Your feet should be wide apart, fingers in belt and thumbs pointing towards your ‘zone’, like a cowboy full of spunk (well, you know what I mean). It may feel funny at first but she’ll think you are the bee’s knees – standing like this raises her temperature while saving on a lot of chat.
2. Don’t bother with intensive grooming: there is no need to be handsome; this has little to do with it, despite what you might think. Better to be rich, actually.
3. Don’t be too nice: the point is not to be charming and nice. Being nice will get you nowhere in the seduction stakes. Indeed, being nasty is likely to increase your seductive power. Ever wondered why women fantasize about vampires? It’s not because they are nice.
4. Do be a bit pushy: assertive and confident pressure are important, so be persistent.
5. Do touch her: don’t grab hold of her bum or pull her hair. Instead, touch her lightly on the ‘safe’ areas – forearms are a good place. You’ll have plenty of time later for grasping the other unsafe bits.
6. Don’t try too hard: if you are trying hard it shows you care – which you shouldn’t. Indifference is much more alluring. So maintain a cool, elusive, mysterious intrigue.
7. Do share danger with her: scientists have recently discovered that crossing a wobbly bridge or going on a fast toboggan ride with a man causes a woman to become attracted to him. Worth knowing. I mean, how much does a ride on a ghost train cost? It’s a better investment than flowers. Creating tension will pay boudoir-dividends.
8. Do be funny (if you can): if humour comes naturally to you, then go for it as it has a similar effect to shared danger. After all, a guffaw is the orgasm she’s allowed to have in public.
9. Do shut up about yourself: ask her about herself. ‘What’s your favourite sexual fantasy?’ is a good question. Even ‘Do you like screwing?’ has been known to work, though it lacks style.
10. Do keep your eye on the ball: you’ll know quickly (within seconds, actually) how interested she is. If you can’t spot this you’re lost, for now is the time to kick chivalry into the long grass and overwhelm her with the bold move.