Why You Broke Up: The Results
09/08/2012 by Stacey Bartlett
Here are your funniest answers from our #whywebrokeup Twitter competition, with dance moves, silly voices and weird phobias as some of your reasons for breaking up
I discovered one of his nicknames was Cyril Sneer and once the connection was made it couldn't be UNmade.
she was a teacher, tasted of chalk; I am an artisan cheese maker.
she was from Hull
he (secretly) took the contents of the condom draw on a lads holiday. Bless him.
he did so many Alan Partridge impressions that I could no longer remember his normal voice
He recited names of tube stops while intimate, bringing a whole new meaning to Jubilee Line Extension.
Because he gave me a 10.00pm curfew. I was 24 and we didn’t even live together.
Because each time he had a 'good' idea he'd do a Saturday Night Fever / Travolta-style pointy dance move
he stole socks
He had a fear of coffee...of COFFEE! I just couldn't…
She worked for Foyles.
he told me I grew on him like mould grows on a flannel
He announced v. seriously that he hated women. Kind of a downer on the relationship from my point of view...
broke up when she asked me what my father does - we were only 13 !
He kept a gas mask and a baseball bat under his bed. It wasn't the Merchant-Ivory romance I'd imagined.
I broke up with someone because of his walk - he did a little shuffle and wiggled his bottom every step!
he was on the phone to me once, i heard a splash & the toilet flush, i hung up on him & never called him again
he revealed he was a vivisectionist while we were eating his home-made curry
I called him, he couldn't talk as he was having dinner, at his house, with his ex AND her parents
I had to break up with a guy after I saw him eat, it was repulsive, there was food everywhere
Not a break up, but one that never got started...the guy on a dating site who told me his surname was 'Moist'
I broke up with someone because, among other reasons, his idea of a compliment was 'Your eyebrows are nice and furry'.
And the winner is...
I broke up with someone because he told me he set his kitchen on fire microwaving his boxers.
Alice wins a copy of Daniel Handler's Why We Broke Up, out now, published by Egmont.